Writing again

A friend recently told me that I should start writing blogs again. I haven't known her for long, in fact, she happened upon my blogs when web-stalking me before my job interview. I laughed, awkwardly - might I add - I'd known that they knew I had once been a blogger, but that's not difficult to figure out, all you need to do is look at my Twitter bio. I had once written as though it was a hobby. But not for a long time. I'm only now beginning to realise, how long. I've been told that they did actually read them. I grimace now, thinking of it. My colleagues, bosses, reading/hearing about my teenage ramblings, as I watched my classmates flourish around me. At the time I felt as though I was surrounded by strangers, trying to keep myself to myself, developing only a couple of friendships, while my friends surrounded themselves with new ones. I still feel the same - except now, having grown a older, three years older, that I feel more comfortable with myself, I don't reject my inability to make friends easily. I don't reject my inability to start conversations or drink or dance. So, things are easier. It's funny how much easier.

And here is my attempt to write again. And once once felt easy, is now difficult. I keep deleting and starting again. I'm sure I never used to do that. Perhaps, it's because I'm thinking too much... Perhaps not.

I laughed when my friend said I should write again. Ha! Like it's that easy, 'I don't have anything to write about!' I protested. 'I'm not in college anymore.' I got back to work, the thought lingering in my head. Odd that I'd been thinking the same thing for the last few months. Even that I'd given it a hand-written stab at it a few weeks ago - before I headed off to Poland, and then again, in Poland the week before last. So now, when some one has told me to write - am I? Why am I so inclined to write publicly now someone has told me to? Something to do - or is it my ego, telling me that my writing is good enough after all, if someone told me to write?

So, here I am, forcing myself to write though the length of one episode of 'SS-GB' it's good, by the way, but perhaps that's a topic for another time. We'll see.

I won't make any promises. Christ, I can't even keep promises to myself, let alone a page very few people will actually read!