Inspire Me.

Waiting for inspiration.

I've been sat staring at this blank page for a while. It's all well and good telling yourself that you'll start up a blog and post every how ever many days weeks or months. But when it actually comes down to it,  where exactly are we supposed to find the inspiration, how do we know what to write about? I'm afraid I'm simply not one of those people who write blogs to complain about their lives, how little money they have or their coursework load, I like my blogs to have a little bit of a point. I mean, those topics may come up under another subject but I'm not going to dedicate an hour of my time, complaining to a blank screen about things that are unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Inspiration, however, I feel is an entirely different matter. The lacking of inspiration is something I battle with tooth and nail every day. From doing an assignment in college, to writing a blog, to writing a story. What do I do my final project on for journalism? What do I write my Language coursework about? What shall I write about in my blog? How do I introduce this character? Everyone deals with their struggles in their own way, and maybe its purely a subjective thing. Surely everyones mind works differently, we all work to our own needs. Walking, I have found, is often my salvation when suffering from a lack of inspiration. Because what better time to think?

I spend a lot of time by myself, because life, I find, is easier that way. Sounds depressing I know, I'm not saying I don't like spending time with my friends, because I do, of course I do, they wouldn't be my friends otherwise. What I find difficult is spending time with people who make me feel uncomfortable and awkward. People who point out that I don't talk when there are more than three people in a group, (because if we all talked at the same time it would be a nightmare) people that think I'm rude when I don't mean to be. I try, honestly I do, maybe not as hard as I ought, but I'm often guided a lot by my first impressions of people and if I'm with a friend that is being friendly, the likelihood of me being friendly too increases ten-fold. I spend time by myself because I have a lack of people skills - probably because of my dad - I'm shy and awkward and I don't work well surrounded by bodies. People stifle my inspiration methods. If you're surrounded, you can't think, and I need to think.

So there you have it. My way of gaining inspiration. Walking alone, be it just down the street, along the river or (as I so rarely do - much to my distain) take a walk in a wooded area, which I find provides quite a plethora (good word - plethora) of inspiration and 'mind palace' space. The only places I have been walking as of late, however, are to and from college and the occasional walk along the river. Which is possibly why I seem to be failing in the inspiration front at the moment. For the life of me I can't seem to be able to concentrate on anything. Not even my stories can manage to hold my interest. I have worked on about five stories since the year started, granted I've been a bit busy with deadlines and coursework, but I just can't stick with one. I keep getting new idea's starting one and then getting stuck a few pages in. It's actually very disappointing. The only thing I have been able to stick to doing is reading my 'Band Of Brothers' book, which I only started last week. So I feel the need to go on a solitary walk through the woods. But alas, I have no where to go and no way of getting there. So is the extent of my pity party.

I suppose inspiration often comes in this form, a mapping of ideas and working your way through, it isn't like this blog has been particularly focused. I think it's important to gather many idea's and develop them with inspiration after the initial hit. I think I'm trying to gather some from reading this book, but I think it's likely I'll gather more after I watch the series, which I am starting with my friend tomorrow. I've been begging her for days just to let me watch it, but she has forbidden me. (It's quite scary actually.) So yeah, thats the plan for the weekend and then Sunday I shall be going over my Language coursework and basically starting from scratch because mine sucks. Luckily, for that I already have my inspiration and know where to go (roughly) with it. The only problem is, I have pretty much just wasted a first draft. Bit of a bummer.

Not only that but I have to find a job to fund my travels, which I depart on in just over seven months, what!? Which means I need to get planning and get saving. And that, ought to be pretty inspirational.